WEEKLY VLOG #6:
3 REASONS WHY I CAN‘T HANDLE TOXIC SITUATIONS
Transcript
Hello and welcome! Dear wonderful people!
I am Totally Zen Tadeja from Andromeda Yoga Atelier. Every Thursday I am going to answer a real-time question we might all be struggling with considering yoga, mental health, and well-being. If you have a question post it in the comments down below.
The vlog is specially dedicated to people who are:
- Tired
- Tired of being tired and
- Tired of explaining how tired they are to everyone else.
You can substitute the word tired with exhausted, feeling blue, stuck, busy… Whatever pops in your head. USE THAT!
I was recently chatting with my dear friend Renata, a lovely graphics designer. SO check her out at Druckwerk. We started talking about toxic situations in general and how to effectively deal with them to make your life easier. So… thank you Renata for the inspiration for today’s vlog.
The title of today’s vlog is:
Why I Can‘t Handle Toxic Situations?
Growing up, often, in constant fear and under relentless judgment it took me a while to even recognize that certain people, situations, or places can be toxic. For me, it was just how life was supposed to be, but I am working hard on my issues with the „Love is a Choice” workbook and if you are interested in it chat me up. However, ever since I started practicing yoga regularly I know 100% for sure I am in an acute or permanent toxic situation when the only thing my mind wants me to do in that particular moment is yoga. For you, it might be feeling like you want to sink into the ground or disappear into the thin air.
Here are my three reasons why:
- losing my inner peace,
-
focusing on the negative,
-
and (good old) denial.
1. Losing my inner peace
More like losing my inner ish, am I right? Toxicity not only impacts your soul but also your body. I am slightly emphatic and when I am surrounded by angry or frustrated people every inch of my body starts to hurt, my throat chokes up and I just feel like there is a black gaping hole inside of my heart. I used to take pain killers to numb my pain and the pain of others I was recreating unwillingly in my body. This used to be such a huge burden for me to bear, but the good news is that I could also pick up on the good vibes and that I could also create my good own good vibes regardless of the situation. For example, listening to Aad Guray Nameh Mantra on repeat for hours on end always takes me back to the state of my inner harmony.
The full mantra goes like this:
I bow to the Primal Wisdom. I bow to the Wisdom through the Ages. I bow to the True Wisdom. I bow to the great unseen Wisdom.
In toxic situations, the wisdom for me is to take the hand of my inner child and take her into my arms and hold her like a newborn baby. I am always there for that little girl who sometimes growing up had no one at her side. I choose to enforce her happiness and watch her climb the trees and enjoy watching this little monkey goof around. If she‘s happy I am happy!
2. Focusing on the negative
In highly emotionally laden situations it is so easy to go into a downward spiral. You want to maybe scream, break something, or just run away, but you can‘t. You‘re maybe stuck in a project publishing a book with a partner that turns out to be a lunatic. Money, deadlines, compliance issues, lawyers, an impossible publisher that would probably do really well in the mafia. Whatever it is, everything seems to be going downhill. But hold on for just a sec and think about it… Is everything really that bad? Focus on all the positive sides of the situation. List them, write them… Then save what you can save and let that what is burning burn to the ground and don’t look back.
3. Denial
It is extremely hard to accept that you have found yourself in a toxic situation, that you are under fire, and that you don’t even know why. There is no excuse for the behavior of protagonists behind a stormy toxic situation. Some behaviors are not acceptable and some lines should never be crossed. But, guess what, not everyone is equally sensitive to other people‘s feelings. Maybe they are just under stress, frustrated, or hurting themselves, or maybe they are completely ignorant of how their behavior impacts everyone else because they are so preoccupied with their own problems. Maybe ask them how they’re doing… Regardless of the reason, you have to flow and not fight. Accept that you can‘t bring down the mountain but you can flow around it, and take the scenic route with people that are loving and kind. You might just end up having an adventure of your lifetime.
To sum it all up, relationships are complicated, because people are complicated, and let’s face it you don’t even get an iffy Ikea manual for handling toxic situations. So, the only thing you have at your disposal is the handbook for yourself on how to find your inner wisdom, bring out all the positive in the situation, and accept what cannot be accepted, because remember people are just people, too!
With that thought I bow the head to the heart; may the wisdom of the body and the wisdom of the mind unite together to support our collective healing and evolution.
